Armley Eurovision Riots Continue Into Night

Violent scenes continued unhindered and fires blazed well into the night in the previously sleepy suburb of Armley in Leeds following Azerbaijan's lacklustre performance in this year's Eurovision Song Contest, reaching a disappointing #17 on the leaderboard and being pipped by bitter rivals Ukraine to the top number one spot. Before this evening you would be forgiven for not knowing that Armley has an ethnic Azerbaijanian Muslim population estimated to be in the tens of thousands; before this evening, they appeared to be happy to go about their business in peace. All that changed when bitter rivals Sweden awarded Azerbaijan 'null points', the allegorical kick in the teeth symboising Sweden's disgust at being branded the Rape Capital Of Europe by certain factions of the Western media following the drastic and hitherto unseen influx of immigrants to within its confines. To add insult to injury, once the televote was in Sweden romped home to win the coveted fourth place title, too much salt in the wounds that precipitated yet more burnings, rioting and looting on the streets of Armley tonight. We can only hope that come the morning the flames of hostility will have abated and peace will once more be restored to this once respectable parish.

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